On Nipples

It's still cold here in merry old England and in general it is bad for everyone, but it is especially bad for the female of the species because nippleage is at its peak in frosty weather.

When you're wrapped in multiple layers of clothing, nippleage will not occur unless in rare circumstances where the individual has nipples like frozen grapes. When you're going to the gym however, you usually only wear a tshirt and a sports bra (or any other bra if you don't care that breasts can travel 10cm up and down during vigorous activity), and the potential for nippleage is enormous and embarrassing. How many times have you stretched in front of the mirror after a satisfying workout, and a shiver runs down your spine, and then your eyes widen when you realise your nipples are standing at attention. It's the penis of the girl world, your nipples. Sometimes, they tell the world you're thinking of something dirty. Unlike the penis however, cold does not make your nipples shrink back into your body looking for warmth.

Part of the purpose of bras is to deliberately obscure your nipples - that's why women who go braless sometimes wear nipple tape 'for decency's sake'. The problem with nipples is that the minute they're visible, the top you're wearing might as well be transparent. Without your nipples, you don't have breasts - you have lumps. Mannequins are de-eroticised without their nipples. Underwear catalogues airbrush nipples away. We all know men love nipples, but I ask you, when you see some fat chick walk past and her boobs are papaya-sized and shaped, and her nipples are somewhere near her knees, do you really think 'woo!'? The only women who can pull off going bra-less and flashing their nipples left right and centre are the ones who have less breast in the first place. It's pert, it's sassy, it's sexy. For the bustier woman, gravity dictates that your nipples will always point downwards. They're not like headlights, more like a bashful 'hey, look at my shoes!'.

I was walking down the hall corridor to the kitchen, when a guy friend stumbled out my hallmate's room, eyes glazed and drowsy-faced. As it was roughly 3am, I didn't feel the need to wear a bra, and it was cold. He lurched past me towards the toilet with sleepy greetings; I went into the kitchen and washed some dishes. A few minutes later, he poked his head in with intentions of starting a conversation. I interrupted with 'Hey, just to let you know, I'm not wearing a bra. I'm totally fine with it, but you might be uncomfortable.' Before I could turn from the sink, he muttered 'Okay, bye!' and dashed out the front door.

Such is the power of the nipple!

Comments

[Andytizer]

"With great power comes great responsibility" - I learnt that from Spiderman :P. Use your powers for good and not for evil!

[Eddie G.]

awk! I wanted to say that, but I guess he beat me to it. And well, to repeat it would sound lame. So I won't. But you're damn right there.

Oh, in case you're wondering who the hell I am, I was backtracking in my blog and saw one of your comments, so i decided to drop by and re-say my hellos.

Hello.

Ok I'm done. Gotta go. Got an assignment due in 3 hours time.

[Rikki]

Tis a mighty power :) you should live in Australia... always boiling.

[Austin]

In the U.S. nippleage is called 'fripples'. As a guy, encountering a woman with fripples becomes an uncomfortable situation only when the girl is self-conscious about them and tries to cover them up. If anything it draws more attention to them. And if the girl isn't particularly good-looking or has horrible breasts it's almost insulting, like "Don't flatter yourself honey."

[JoSh]

That entry was downright perky.. or upright perky.. whichever way you see it. =)

[Vincent]

Welcome to the world of Nipplelodeon!

[Boss Lepton]

Oi Sarah!!

TOO MUCH INFO!!!!

TOO MUCH INFO!!!!!

[ketiak]

I wanna be ur hallmate... ;)

[lao zhai]

nice place:)

[Boss Stewie]

i think someone has got to teach your hallmate to learn to take advantage of situations

[Ray]

hahahaha! wonderbra kind of wonder post!

dang, was looking all over webdom for some substantial blog material... and i found yours! *happy*

may your nipples continue to save the world and universe!

[piffles]

hilarious!

[Charles]

--
'hey, look at my shoes!'
--

that's cute! your comments aren't the only thing that's cute about you.

continue on. i enjoy reading. =D

[pablopabla]

Brave blog and witty indeed!

[kali]

you will read this i never did but read it please

[Anthony]

Suck me beautiful

[Jake]

STICK IT IN MY ASS WHORE!!!

[Eremeeff]

Hi there,
Great job. But not enought info. Where can i read more?

Thanks
Eremeeff